Ninevah's confession

So I begin with the death of my partner.After 5 yrs of nursing my partner through a prolonged terminal illness followed by her death I decided to leave Sante Fe where we had lived together and move back to New York where I had my old friends.

At the time I met Ptah she was a hospice volunteer who had helped me during this very difficult time. She was looking for a place to stay and I offered for her to stay with me and possibly move to New York and give it a try. So she agreed but initially it was very hard for the both of us because she was away from all her friends and I was in a very strange state of mind, grieving for my partner, and so we decided it was better she went back to Sante Fe.

However before she went back she had gone to the New York Mind, Body, Spirit Expo and connected with Hermes and Nascent. She came back with these energies and asked me to feel them and share these. I, of course, was in such a strange space I immediately thought it was another new age thing and wasn't interested. Shortly after this she decided to go back to Sante Fe. It was a mutual agreement really.

After she left I personally went through the most hellish period in my life. I had hit absolute rock bottom, I didn't want to live or do anything. I found this place very hard and godless. At this time I had a little cat which I had bought for my partner when she was ill. As this cat became ill and died, I became extremely ill and very depressed and called Ptah asking her if she could reconsider coming back because I was alone and needed help. And to my surprise she agreed.

When she returned she gave me the discs again and said please try and I started drinking the discs but I didn't feel a thing. But then I drank Divine Star and the moment I drank that I literally heard a loud swishing, swirling sound and I thought it was the dish washer, literally. I then realised it wasn't the dish washer because it was off and that the sound was something going on inside of me. It was so tangible and lasted for so long, I was absolutely blown away.

I was not imagining this. I knew then without a doubt I had stumbled upon Grace - and Grace had entered my life. After that everything shifted.
This place became the sanctuary and magically something was lifted from me. It was gradual but as I shifted I received more. I could feel that something like a current was lifting layers of sadness from my being and I began to feel lighter and lighter.
I was in love with this matter.
That's it. I knew it. I felt so held and nurtured. I felt I had come home.


Ninevah